In my opinion.......mistakes are WONDERFUL! How else can we get better at something if we don't make mistakes? If we're not allowed to make mistakes? Observing a baby learn to walk is the best example I know of learning from our mistakes. I have learned so many precious lessons by simply observing my son, Matthew. I thank God for giving me such an amazing child! When he was first learning to walk, he'd pick himself off the floor from a nearby table, wobble, let go of the table, and fall back down. Do you think that stopped him? Of course not! He'd get up and try again and again until eventually he was able to stand on his own and take his first steps forward just like most every baby before him and most every child after him. And my husband and I (as every parent) were encouraging. We'd praise him for making the simplest attempt at getting up. We'd clap our hands and smile at him and when he'd finally mastered the skill of standing on his own we'd woo him to come to us with our arms wide open ready to hug him (and if he fell we'd hug him anyway). What do you think would happen if we yelled at our babies every time they fell from attempting to walk? We'd be a society of belly crawlers. :)
Why should it be any different when learning to play an instrument? We as teachers need to create an environment in which it's OK to "mess up". If we see mistakes as a golden opportunity to improve then so will our students. Mistakes are made for a number of reasons during lessons from needing more time to master a certain skill to students not practicing enough. I can almost promise you that if a child is constantly made to feel ashamed for their mistakes they will eventually stop trying altogether. Whatever the reason for our students "messing up", we need to create a safe nurturing enviroment that allows them the opportunity learn from their mistakes.
If you can empathize with your students then you will naturally become more patient with them. Think about how it was for you at their age. How confusing things were at times. How it was hard to sit still and focus for long periods of time. How scary it was for you when all of those tall people in your life towered over you and told you what to do. And were we really paying attention to them? Sometimes but not really. I mean there was so much mental "noise" going on in our heads.
OMG and don't get me started on middle school age students with all their physical, emotional, and hormonal changes going on! So although I hold my students to very high standards I am also extremely understanding of where they are in their lives. It's important for us to let our students know that we genuinely care for them and want what's best for them. I believe it was John C. Maxwell who said "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care". Isn't that the truth? So if you're feeling frustrated with a student who hasn't been practicing during the week and/or makes numerous mistakes throughout their pieces, take a deep breath, think back to when you were their age, and address the problem in a way that will help them improve.
This is what I've shared with a few of my students who have clearly not practiced during the week and come to their lesson unprepared:
Me: Sooooooooo how much did you practice this week?
Student: (long silence feeling scared) Ummmmm........I practiced.
Me: (with a smile) I believe that you practiced but how much did you practice?
Student: (long silence and feeling uncomfortable) Ummmmm......I don't know.
Me: (calm demeanor and said without an angry tone) Well, I think you practiced a little but not as much as you could have. What's your weekly schedule like? Walk through each day with me so that we can work together to find time where you can practice.
(The student then shares their weekly activities with me and we always find at least 15-25 minutes a day where they could practice)
Me: Okay, so now we have a schedule that you can follow and your parents can help you follow, right?
Student: (feeling a bit more relieved) Yes! I can do this.
Me: Of course you can, I know you can! So I will talk with your parents and let them know that we've worked out a schedule to help you stay on top of your practicing so that they can help you follow it. But remember that even when you don't feel like practicing you have to do it anyway because I promise you that you will feel so excited about coming to your next lesson knowing that you've practiced all week long. You'll walk in happy and confident and ready to show me what you've worked on and I'll be so excited to hear your progress. OK?
Student: (more relaxed and receptive to learning the next thing in piano) OK!
Me: You are awesome!
If you take anything away from this entry take this............kids rarely feel good about themselves. They are constantly comparing themselves to others around them feeling like they'll never measure up. They are their worst critics and often feed themselves with negative inner dialogue. Be one of the few people in their lives to lift them up and encourage them to be the best they can be. Kids know when you're being sincere and when you're being fake. Whatever encouraging words you say make sure that you genuinely believe what you're telling them. Until next time, Daphne V. (piano blogger) signing off........
No comments:
Post a Comment